Both paths suck because both will control you. Churches suck because they tell you what to believe and tell you how to live. Live in all lies and made up bull s*t. The other way is partying, drugs alcohol, which can also control your life or the people who you do it with can control you by making all your decisions to do bad things. Either way you go you will drown. You will be controlled and might as well be dead, because your not living your life. So you have to not be scared to make your own path. On the road you will learn whats right and wrong. Be true to your self and you will find your way. If you go down a path already made then you are walking blind to the real world. Make your own damn religion that makes sense to you based off your experience not other people's. Don't just believe in one religion until you see Jesus him self turn water into wine. But also don't go to far in the other direction where you don't care, you will get lost that way too.

He is abusing drugs and can't quite. Its like he is already dead and in his afterlife, fallen into a made up world you create and isn't real, with no pain or sense of time because he's so screwed up. On drugs he's given a small taste of after life but he doesn't want that, he wants his life back. The piece on earth he gets from drugs doesn't feel right. He'll die soon enough anyways where he will live in an afterlife. He's got to move on from that drug stage in life, leave friends or loved ones to escape from those bringing him down. He's hit that rock bottom point he knows he wants back because it doesn't feel right. Loved ones miss him because he might as well be dead.